I don't know how to start this. Hi, sorry to worry you all.

These past few months have been pretty rough, but I'm currently in a better place, one where I can finally be at peace. Of course it won't be an easy thing to do because of everything I've been through but I'll try to stay alive.

And yes, I did attempt suicide. Several times in fact, I never succeeded. Maybe it's because of fear of death? I don't know, I was just never able to do it.

But well, surely you will want explanations as to why I did what I did?

I did it for losing my girlfriend. For some it may not be a big deal, but let me explain. In some of my songs you might have seen a "(ft. Rose)" but you probably had no idea who she was, right? Well, she wasn't just my girlfriend, she was my friend for as long as I can remember, she was the best thing I ever had in my whole life. Just imagine, being friends since we were kids, growing up together, promising each other dozens of things when we both grow up. And one day, she's gone.

I miss her, every day since I lost her, she was the only support I've had since I was a kid.

Obviously emotional support, of course. My family has never been the best in the world, I hate them.

However, I'm not going to dig into it too much, it's enough for them to know that I was abused by them multiple times. And yes, abused in any way you can imagine. Luckily I am no longer with them, never will be again.

I don't know if I am explaining this well or if I am being coherent with what I want to say, honestly I have reached a point where I feel like I am not living, I am just existing. You know?

Probably not, I don't think you guys are able to understand how I feel. I don't even understand myself, sometimes I feel like my mind is spinning, to the point where I come to believe that I deserve the bad things that have happened to me in life. I mean, I've done bad things too, but not to the point to suffer like this. At least that's what I think.

I've hurt some people I've known and I'm sorry, there have been times when I couldn't control myself. I don't want to hurt anyone, believe me, I don't.

Life is strange, isn't it? When you're a kid everything is happiness and joy, when you're older you realize how horrible even your own family can be, it's even funny if you ask me.

Now, I'm going to change the subject a little bit so this isn't so sad and depressing ok? Even I couldn't hold back the tears lmao.

What am I going to do with my life now?

Simple, I'll still be here but I'm not going to make music anymore, I've lost total motivation in it.

That doesn't take away how grateful I am for the support I've received during this time. Seriously, do you have any idea how happy I was the first time I got a Frontpage? The amount of people listening to a song of mine, the votes I received, the comments people left, everything. I honestly never expected anything when I started making music, it was always something I saw as a hobby, nothing serious. But I still couldn't contain the joy I got from seeing people saying how much they liked my songs (to the point of creating my own Geometry Dash account just to play levels that people did with my music, haha).

BUT DON'T WORRY. I still have some pending projects I'd like to share before I stop making music. Maybe after that I'll make a song every now and then, just maybe. And even if I do, don't expect that to mean a comeback from me.

Now, if YOU want to do a remix of a song of mine (maybe not), send me a message. If I haven't lost the project I have no problem to send you the stems.

Anyway, if you've made it this far I can only say thank you. Thank you for taking the time to read this which probably won't change your life at all but you still decided to read it because you had nothing better to do (Come on, laugh. I'm trying to be funny).

Thank you all for the messages of support you left me, thank you for caring about me. I have no way to thank you other than with words, I love you all.

And thanks to you Scott, for taking the time to maintain this account and keep posting content from me. I know you'll read this when you realize you no longer have access to this account, hehe (But seriously, how did you find No Time (Live)? I thought I wiped that off the face of the earth).

Aaaand I don't know how to end this properly. Bye bye?